Sunday, May 27, 2012
Friday, May 18, 2012
Origin of Love
Kim Dongwan practicing the Korean version of Origin of Love (from Hedwig and the Angry Inch).
I'm really thankful I was introduced to this (through fangirling Dongwan). The drums. The guitar. His voice. How I wish I had the opportunity to watch him play Hedwig. I hope oppa gets to perform in more musicals in the future.
The song's just beautiful it really hurts. For the first time I can honestly say I understand "that" feeling and not just used as a descriptive amplifier.
I then tried to watch the original english version. This is the one from the movie.
I've been wanting to share this on my facebook too but I feel worried that it may offend some. Visuals aren't appropriate for the younger contacts.
Naturally, when I listen to music, I listen to the melody and beat first. The kind of mood it sets. I haven't been paying attention to the lyrics. Seldom when I do get to pause and realize, ah, I need to research on the lyrics. And when I did read the lyrics while listening to it, it just took me to another level and I couldn't stop my tears anymore. That kind of power that moves you, like strings of your soul vibrate strongly to the song's command. And there's just no relief but to let it out.
Based on Aristophanes' speech (Plato's Symposium).
-------------------------------------------
Hedwig and the Angry Inch - Origin of Love
When the earth was still flat,
And the clouds made of fire,
And mountains stretched up to the sky,
Sometimes higher,
Folks roamed the earth
Like big rolling kegs.
They had two sets of arms.
They had two sets of legs.
They had two faces peering
Out of one giant head
So they could watch all around them
As they talked; while they read.
And they never knew nothing of love.
It was before the origin of love.
The origin of love
And there were three sexes then,
One that looked like two men
Glued up back to back,
Called the children of the sun.
And similar in shape and girth
Were the children of the earth.
They looked like two girls
Rolled up in one.
And the children of the moon
Were like a fork shoved on a spoon.
They were part sun, part earth
Part daughter, part son.
The origin of love
Now the gods grew quite scared
Of our strength and defiance
And Thor said,
"I'm gonna kill them all
With my hammer,
Like I killed the giants."
And Zeus said, "No,
You better let me
Use my lightening, like scissors,
Like I cut the legs off the whales
And dinosaurs into lizards."
Then he grabbed up some bolts
And he let out a laugh,
Said, "I'll split them right down the middle.
Gonna cut them right up in half."
And then storm clouds gathered above
Into great balls of fire
And then fire shot down
From the sky in bolts
Like shining blades
Of a knife.
And it ripped
Right through the flesh
Of the children of the sun
And the moon
And the earth.
And some Indian god
Sewed the wound up into a hole,
Pulled it round to our belly
To remind us of the price we pay.
And Osiris and the gods of the Nile
Gathered up a big storm
To blow a hurricane,
To scatter us away,
In a flood of wind and rain,
And a sea of tidal waves,
To wash us all away,
And if we don't behave
They'll cut us down again
And we'll be hopping round on one foot
And looking through one eye.
Last time I saw you
We had just split in two.
You were looking at me.
I was looking at you.
You had a way so familiar,
But I could not recognize,
Cause you had blood on your face;
I had blood in my eyes.
But I could swear by your expression
That the pain down in your soul
Was the same as the one down in mine.
That's the pain,
Cuts a straight line
Down through the heart;
We called it love.
So we wrapped our arms around each other,
Trying to shove ourselves back together.
We were making love,
Making love.
It was a cold dark evening,
Such a long time ago,
When by the mighty hand of Jove,
It was the sad story
How we became
Lonely two-legged creatures,
It's the story of
The origin of love.
That's the origin of love.
Monday, May 14, 2012
dreamer, dreamer
This is how a fanchant should be :) Changjo, you are amazing.
Shinhwa - Venus (goodbye stage Music Bank)
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Here Comes Spring
And with it, lots of cleaning.
I realized I have a hard time letting go. Friends who had the chance to see my room would comment on how I have a lot of stuff. And I do (for someone who just started living here 4 years ago). Books, cds, accessories on my wall... Sometimes I think I need better storage options. Or maybe I just really need to downsize.
And that ain't easy.
But my trip to Manila did something good for that issue. I don't know how specifically, but going back home rewarded me with some realizations that helped me to move forward. And I wanted to. But if I want to be able to move freely, I need to let go of things that were weighing me down.
As soon as I got back, with my room totally alien to me (my mom moved a lot of stuff), I started cleaning section per section. I started with the jampacked closet. It took me 5 run throughs (I don't think there's such a word) to even give airspace to my clothes. I removed a lot of clothes. Not all of them were old. Some, I just learned to let go. And even then, my closet is still packed and I'm still using part of the guest room closet (for the thick coats/outerwear). But it looks less cluttered now. I can't do anything anymore...weather here is cold and sweaters will be sweaters... thick and greedy for space.
Then went through drawers, old books, extra art materials... bills, bills, lots of bills to shred.
I even decided to let go most of my cds. After ripping of course.
And then the files. I had to sort and go through files I could delete, made new folders to better organize the ones that stay.
I feel like I've been doing a good job with this letting go phase. And it's not just the material stuff. Lately, I've learned not to face some things head on. That it is healthier to just turn away and move on. Especially when I've learned I'm not that young anymore to not experience "high blood".
Life is short. Too short. We only have this much given time. I don't want to live my life under severe stress. Now some things we can't avoid like having to pay bills and dealing with family. Some things, you can turn away from them. One just gotta learn. You can actually discern if say getting mad at stupid anti fans would be worth your time and health. I choose not to. So just like shopping in a grocery aisle, you move along. If that aisle doesn't have what you need to be able to live life fully, move along. You need to choose your battles. Let go of what is negative to make room for the more important.
Prioritize and eliminate.
And now that holy week will soon be over, I am ready to face the world with a new attitude just in time for Easter. Hopefully, I'll be able to learn how to sleep more and earlier. :)
Let go. Learn to let go.
I realized I have a hard time letting go. Friends who had the chance to see my room would comment on how I have a lot of stuff. And I do (for someone who just started living here 4 years ago). Books, cds, accessories on my wall... Sometimes I think I need better storage options. Or maybe I just really need to downsize.
And that ain't easy.
But my trip to Manila did something good for that issue. I don't know how specifically, but going back home rewarded me with some realizations that helped me to move forward. And I wanted to. But if I want to be able to move freely, I need to let go of things that were weighing me down.
As soon as I got back, with my room totally alien to me (my mom moved a lot of stuff), I started cleaning section per section. I started with the jampacked closet. It took me 5 run throughs (I don't think there's such a word) to even give airspace to my clothes. I removed a lot of clothes. Not all of them were old. Some, I just learned to let go. And even then, my closet is still packed and I'm still using part of the guest room closet (for the thick coats/outerwear). But it looks less cluttered now. I can't do anything anymore...weather here is cold and sweaters will be sweaters... thick and greedy for space.
Then went through drawers, old books, extra art materials... bills, bills, lots of bills to shred.
I even decided to let go most of my cds. After ripping of course.
And then the files. I had to sort and go through files I could delete, made new folders to better organize the ones that stay.
I feel like I've been doing a good job with this letting go phase. And it's not just the material stuff. Lately, I've learned not to face some things head on. That it is healthier to just turn away and move on. Especially when I've learned I'm not that young anymore to not experience "high blood".
Life is short. Too short. We only have this much given time. I don't want to live my life under severe stress. Now some things we can't avoid like having to pay bills and dealing with family. Some things, you can turn away from them. One just gotta learn. You can actually discern if say getting mad at stupid anti fans would be worth your time and health. I choose not to. So just like shopping in a grocery aisle, you move along. If that aisle doesn't have what you need to be able to live life fully, move along. You need to choose your battles. Let go of what is negative to make room for the more important.
Prioritize and eliminate.
And now that holy week will soon be over, I am ready to face the world with a new attitude just in time for Easter. Hopefully, I'll be able to learn how to sleep more and earlier. :)
Let go. Learn to let go.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Marriage
I have this weird love-hate relationship with it. Or for the most part, it's actually fear. Fear of not finding that love that will last through all the challenges and years of marriage. Fear of getting into one that spells tragedy and a broken family. Fear of being trapped. Fear of love fading. Fear of rejection. Fear of third parties (and a 4th and a 5th etc), of boredom, of exhaustion.
Czarah and Adrian from Jason Magbanua on Vimeo.
Yes Lord, let me find the right one and not be scared of it.
Commitment. Maybe I can do it? If I try? But there are no "just try" in marriages. COMMITMENT. You decide to walk the aisle, you're in it.
It's just really scary.
Friends and acquaintances are getting engaged or married - - -> this kinda puts the pressure on me as well. I just want to wrestle this monster out of my life. And teasing of relatives isn't helping.
T_T
I do however (and this is where the love comes in) enjoy watching wedding videos. The part I love the most would be that moment the doors open and the bride starts to walk down the aisle. And then you look at the groom... that face will tell you the love he has for that girl who decided to walk down and meet him at the altar. It's that moment of coming together. It's perfect. Sometimes I'd think, maybe the risk of pain in the future is worth it just for that very moment when you can give and feel the most love.
Jason Magbanua. It's your fault haha. Watching your videos get me all conflicted.
This was one of his older works. I do enjoy the new ones, with all the gloss and hd-ness of techonology haha. But somehow the old videos do "it" for me. He truly captured the magic.
Czarah and Adrian from Jason Magbanua on Vimeo.
Yes Lord, let me find the right one and not be scared of it.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
We've been waiting and waiting the entire night. We jumped with the crowd. We sang with the crowd. The strong smell of sweat, smoke, strong cologne and alcohol battled with the heat that passed through every nerve of every person getting high from the neon glow.
And then it played. Electric, like 2 opposite poles, it was instant attraction. A quick brush, a slow slide of the finger, deep breaths. Lost among the unaware crowd, the distance vanished.
"While the band played our song, in this sea of colorful lights, while they jumped and sang, we kissed.
No stopping til last note."
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