Blood Pressure

The question is...

Should I change and respond accordingly to what the current demands are...

Or should I carve my own destiny amongst the many people who choose the practical and comfortable life?

It's not that I'm rebelling. I have dreams and they're very specific. I know how a lot of people would say go fight and run towards your ambitions. But I know some would say be smart, be practical and you'll get ahead.

To me, as both have their rewards, both also have their downers. You could be rewarded financially with the practical job but emotionally and personally, you're not fullfilled. You have the money but you really don't have the time to enjoy. Or maybe you do... you could save up for that very expensive bag or that Euro trip you badly wanted since you were a teenager... but your job - makes you lonely.

Or, you could have chased your dream, you could say that you are enjoying your life, but then there are some things you can't do/taste/experience bec. you don't have the money.

What weighs more?

Also, there is the question of the purpose of obstacles. It can be interpreted in many ways but to me before, if it gets harder, maybe He doesn't want to give it to you and that was not the destiny meant for you.

But tonight, after thinking too much and pushing myself to have that sense of optimism, I remembered something I read in the bible that if you want it that badly, even if it's for you already, you have to show it. He will make you work hard for it. So maybe, the obstacles right now are not "wrong way" signs... maybe, these obstacles are the tests to prove how much I want "this" (this being the entirety of my dreams).

I'm not giving up. I may have taken a shot of hope right now, but I'm not going to lie, I'm having a hard time. It's very difficult financially, mentally, emotionally... It's draining, I can't sleep well.

And this day... BAD.

Hopefully, the coming days would give me new opportunities.